Random Moments in Town

Remember the married neighbor? Apparently he found my number (sigh), hopefully he won't use it again ...
Btw, my peeping Tom, it's Kensey and her owner. She has gotten sooo big, and I never noticed he looks like Dale Jr ...

Travelling Adventures

A CV friend of mine took me to a restaurant in DC called Ray's Hell Burger. President Obama ate there shortly after taking office and made it famous. So I order my burger (peppercorn seasoning and aged white cheddar-yum!) and in walks this guy with a friend. They were both tall 6'3" - 6'5", he was wearing a suit sans jacket and a pink tie. He's a tad overweight, but he was wearing a smile, a gorgeous smile, that told me he is a nice guy.

So after some prompting from my friend (to me) and flirting (resulted from the prompting), he gave me his number. We shall see how this turns out!

I'm Not That Guy

Last post on this topic, I promise! Retired after this ...

So Half's fb account is back up! Yeah!!
And I get an inbox message ... Please delete the fb post you did. It violates my trust, blahblahblah. I didn't think it was a bad or offensive post. As a matter of fact here it is:
Tommybear deactivated his account :(
I want to say sorry to his fam, going to miss his sharing of his art on fb.

My friend/sis, says to just delete it (you do have to pick and choose your battles) so I will. Here was his update after he messaged me:

"So love, seems we couldn’t connect again and im hurt down to my core
How is it I see you in my dreams but you never seem sure
Genuine emotion I want to show you who I could be
Here I am lamenting on what was , and has been, and what I shall never seem to see
Had dreams of making life dreams of hugging my wife
... Those dreams dead I guess my only choice? Go on with life
Many questions from my fam and those who I consider friend
I can’t explain how I began to move toward this new end
It takes time to hit dead stop when love was dead drop
But mage is a power that seems to rise to the top
This latest ep has me gun shy no design to be the one
My light died inside so im shooting at the sun
How can I say love is what I want if I cant hold on to when its here
Too stubborn to change my ways? Should I give in to my true fear?
Is it enough to know someone cared enough for that short time
Or should I push past what couldn’t work and exist on that red line
The spot between emotion and the motion of moving along
I finally get it how these artists seem to put their heart into a song
She said my art shows one side and my ways show another
I guess I wasn’t the right brother to stay forever as her lover
How do I reconcile with real and say im easy with this now
The sappy side of my eaten away, I want to acknowledge alone as my new vow
But damn if I do that then I accept that she is gone
Oh well, heart wave goodbye to love and kick push life along
……
~mage, amethyst dragon in a haze of smoke created by life’s living hell"

I have to admit it pulls at the heartstrings a bit ...

I'm Not That Guy

So apparently I'm a heart-breaker. not a good feeling.

We agreed to be friends. As a friend, I decided to check-up on him and make sure he was ok and to embark on our new status - friends ... I guess you can tell that's not exactly what was going to happen. I mean, we have not known each other long, we only spent one weekend together (in a conventional way), but he is in deep. Like in love, deep.

So, he deactivated his facebook account and I feel TERRIBLE about that. You all must know how much I adore my fb ... That is his primary means of communicating with his family, and its now terminated. He also shut down his business site. I mean, when he goes out, he goes out big! When I try to talk to him about it he tells me, he is punishing himself. No more art, business, photography, fb (he also doesn't want to communicate with anyone or have anyone ask him what happened), he really cut himself off from anything and went into super recluse mode. And who is to blame ... me.

Being who I am, I take stock.
It is what it is so fix what you can, deal with what you can't, and move on.
He is a grown man and makes his decision, all I can do is stand true and be his friend if he even lets me.

I'm Not That Guy

It's hard to give up the "loving feeling". Whether it's being in love or being the one who loves or if you are lucky, both.

I started off my morning with a wake-up call from Half, and thank goodness he did because I clearly overslept! He started to tell me about his day and of course I had to ask a question. Today's what-if is what-if I had never asked? Well ignorance is bliss, but the stupidity ...

Back on track, so he was making his appointments and mentioned he needed to obtain a new doctor. Here's where my question interjected ... Why? his response was that he did not want a relationship with a doctor so therefore switches up every year.

Okay, I would be lying if I didn't say the warning bells in my head were now SCREAMING. I said it's not a relationship but a service transaction and they cannot fully get the whole picture unless they either see you continuosly or see your previous records, and in record sharing there is a chance for a late or non diagnosis for any health issues. He basically said he doesn't care, he is "Not That Guy" to build a relationship with anyone nevermind a doctor.

Sooo, it went downhill from there and ended with us both agreeing we would be better suited as friends (I mean when else are you going to find someone who can finish your sentences and read your mind?) and not as mates.

Another one bites the dust ...

I'm Not That Guy

So I am hearing this a lot, hence the topic change. Also probably the truth ...

We were talking about his daughter today, apparently he suffers from the stereotypical baby mama drama (child support not spent on daughter, laxx mothering, etc). His daughter is not quite 16 and has some health issues relating to obesity and diabetes and of course typical teenage laziness and not caring.

His "I'm not that guy" was about offering his daughter a home if her mom makes her get a job at 16 and makes her pay rent. His reasoning was, he offered her a place to stay in the past and she didn't accept it. He proceeds to tell me he is set in his ways at 40 and he will not put anyone before himself, including his kids. He says his mama taught him that.

Seriously?! I am not that woman, mother, or lady.

Based on earlier conversations about his mom, I don't think that is the truth. I mention it and he says well that's how he is, accept it. That's not how I am ... uhoh Shaggy, trouble in paradise.

Facebook Fairy Tale

The fairy tale is definitely unravelling ...

I am constantly hearing, "I don't do that" and "That's not me" and "I don't want to" and lastly "I'm not that dude" and this is in relation to visiting family ... I'm not talking about distant relatives, but his brothers and sisters. The brother he is closest to, he is content on visiting once every few months and same for phone calls. He doesn't want to make plans to change that because "they would be suspicious." Seriously???!

I think this is reason for serious concern. I am also seeing this in his interactions with others. He doesn't have a close relationship with anyone, including his teenage daughter. I don't want to live my life in a vaccuum, and while I might not be the most family-orientated person, I do value family greatly and try to spent time with them, weekly.

How much can a person change? Can a person truly change?
When I mentioned weekly family visits, he immediately recognized a potential issue and in compromise limited it to my family only and he would "tolerate" it for me. How long would that last? How long until we argue over it? Is toleration going to be good enough?

Facebook Fairy Tale

Ok, so maybe having fb in common is not a good thing. I'm used to posting whatever comes to mind. The good, bad, and ugly. And I can't vent or post about Half. And to top it off, he is commenting on EVERY LITTLE THING I post and people's comments, etc. I don't want him scaring off friends from commenting. I know I would feel less inclined to post on a friend's page if the only interaction was between her and her guy, especially if I hadn't met him.

Now I might copy some of Half's works, which means I had to have visited his page. And based on the frequency of of the quotes you get an idea of how often I have frequented his page. He is a little EXTREME. Like two minutes after I comment or post he has something to say. I mean you don't always have to comment, or participate, or acknowledge ... ijs ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

So I think Half publically declared he loves me.
I am Miss Oblivious, so that might not be the case.

I mean if you don't spell it out and it can be open to interpretation, then I'm just not gonna get it. Seriously.

Now, he didn't say it to me. It was back and forth chatter between him and a friend of his on my wall. He posted monkey pics (love me some monkeys) knowing how much I love them. Drew up a gorgeous line of future monkey apparel. Ok, sorry, back to the topic. Where was I?

Facebook Fairy Tale

Trouble in paradise ... resolved?

Can you truly inspire someone to be a better person? Or will they eventually fall back into step?

"I think I'll call her spark she's the great inspiration
Nah I think she's destiny on her Kelly ro ....motivation
Beyonce sass and Michelle Williams class
For her I will be a better man watch out world imma make a splash

~mage"

Sounds like it, time will tell ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

Pet names cont...

Tommy-bear
Tommy-boo
boo-cakes
Tommycakes

Facebook Fairy Tale

Trouble in paradise ... or at least the water stirring ...

He doesn't like to eat. or sleep. has issues with family. has issues keeping relationships. He cut his one of his brothers and his sister from his life because they do and say stuff that he doesn't like, agree with or wouldn't do. I couldn't cut out my family over that. You can't control what people do or say, just accept them for who they are, find their redeeming qualities and focus on that.

And he knows I whole heartedly do not relate or care for that mentality. We are at a stalemate. I know he gets that because this is his post:
"...Don't know if she gets it yet hmmm....jumped in deep and don't want to surface without her..."

Oh buddy.

Facebook Fairy Tale

so by now, ya'll must know I have a quirky side, right?

My latest endeavor is to slightly embarrass Half. I started to make up little pet names for him. Names that included Boo (since his family calls him Boo or Buddha) or some variation of Tom or Tommy (since he hates the nickname).

I should start a running list of all used pet names ...
boocakes
sugar-boo
boo ninja
boomage
boobear

Facebook Fairy Tale

So Half and I seem to be able to carry out long conversations. Those conversations are often not filled totally with words. The only other people I feel comfortable doing that with is my cousin and her sister. And once in a blue moon one of my sisters.
There isn't that rush to fill the silence, its comfortable. The space between words.

So here I am thinking that (I know, an almost poetic moment and thought) and Half, true to form, must have read my mind. He posts "morning observation....what i cherish most are not the long lovely conversations but the oh so comfortable silences that allow me to feel and think in between words."

Now you can see why he is my Half.

Facebook Fairy Tale

So it's Valentine's Day.

Of course he knows exactly what to say, darn artistic types, lol
I would post it, but I'm sure you all get the idea from the quotes from Half's posts.

Gotta love Saint Valentin.

So you would think I had an awesome day, head in the clouds feeling (loved). Nope. Details aren't relevant, but after a slight health scare I was back home. Found that Half sent me flowers (absolutely gorgeous) and he referred to me again as "Beloved" mmm, I like that.

Facebook Fairy Tale

So Half made this really sweet post on his profile "if i could only know you for one day i would mark every calendar February 14th so that would could live love and devotion year round, repeating an unspoken vow to shine in each others eyes eternally.

happy Valentines Day Beloved (life only gets better from here, even in the dark we shall find each others true moment.)"

Gorgeous, right?

So in response I had to post "Virtue intact, thanks for asking ... sheesh!"
I mean, did ya'll see the last part of his post. I suuuure didn't want everyone thinking I gave it up on the first weekend I met him!

Facebook Fairy Tale

Now this is deep.

"closed my eyes and missed her grasp
i now remember how to dream
held her hand and felt the world
i cant get out what i mean
sorry to my past
... i cant relate why it wasnt you
shes all i see in my tomorrow gaze
with her theres no end to what i can do
muscles feel tighter
when i force all i am into my actions
one day if its God's will
she will complete my ring of satisfaction
the ring of my completion
my bestie wow no doubt
since i know she sees my mind and heart
she knows all that im about
my words no longer matter
with her i know our worth
this is the moment that we both waited for
molded to be all for each other soul mates from birth

~m — with (my name)"

I hope I can match him in emotion. Not sure if this is dramatics or true. Based on his other posts I'm guessing this is true. Time will tell ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

Yeah, if I was mistaken about his intentions, he definitely spelt it out for me.

Check out Half's latest verse:
"let it be known baby girl you are a star
no need to leave this spot VIP is where you are
5 years from last friday we'll be proving them wrong
no need to front like im not locked inside i dance to her song
the stars aren't the destination for my heavenly body
... no need to try and have the world ...you already got me
and i grind the wheels of fate to turn our way
stapled the sun to the sky so forever lives our day

~mage"

Can you say awwww! lol

Facebook Fairy Tale

Ahhh, the honeymoon phase ...

"the sky is blue because i can see it
the sun is warm because i can feel it
the wind blows because i can feel it
the flower blooms because i can smell it

... dont ask me how i know it is real

food tastes better when i think of her
i sigh less and smile more when i think of her
i walk with more authority when i think of her
i look past the past and pass on pain once known when i think of her

dont tell me im impetuous and what i feel is not real

if i knew her for a second i would be a lifetime
if i knew her for a minute our future would be etched in the stone tablets of fate
if i knew her for an hour i would swim in her gaze forever young
if i knew her for a day reality would be re-written

dont tell me it is too soon

forever isnt long enough for us
we want more

~m..dreaming of an emerald heart"

In case I haven't made it clear, the quoted verses are what he wrote. Half is the creative, talented one. Me, not so much.

Facebook Fairy Tale

So I guess he enjoyed our kiss as well *")*

"ask around i been writing since ...well since birth
nope not the coming of mage since the beginning of the earth

that God for those soft lips and warm embrace
close my eyes she embedded all i see is her face
the smile type right wait until we get it together
about to sho these people how to spell forever
~mage"

And he's thinking long term? ...



I know I seem to be quoting him alot, but this boy can WRITE!

That said I believe I got a dreamy look in my eyes when I read his post:
"ask around i been writing since ...well since birth
nope not the coming of mage since the beginning of the earth

that God for those soft lips and warm embrace
close my eyes she embedded all i see is her face
the smile type right wait until we get it together
about to sho these people how to spell forever

~mage"

And I think he means it, when he posts about forever. He had another post which mentioned a ring (gulp), yes a RING. I can see him in my future. And considering how we interacted, we have a few differences but for the most part we are two halves of a whole.

Online Dating Adventures

Account disabled :) ... New topic, Facebook Fairy Tale

Facebook Fairy Tale

Half is now on the train back home. We did share our first (blush) kiss at the train station saying goodbye. Overall it was a fantastic weekend. He got along great with my cousin, which is very important to me - she's like my sister, and her famiily.

He and I got along great, and I met the Aunt and some cousins. She was absolutely fab! I totally adore her, I imagined she would be a little old school (she's only a few years younger than my dad) and I would feel like a third wheel, but instead I was welcomed into the family fold.

There is definitely potential ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

What did I agree to???!

Mass in the morning with the Aunt and then I guess breakfast. It seems he's determined to have me spend his family time with him.

Oh buddy ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

So today Half and I ventured out to the Norman Bird Sanctuary.
Our goal? Great convo, taking pics, and some exercise.
Our obstacles? Snowy rain :(

Of course I started the journey by checking fb, His morning post was "as long as they remain flurries im good with taking my camera out ...the sun didnt rise today, the remnants of her presence never allowed it to set last night"

... I'm kinda feeling like an fb stalker, but he must know I'm going to see it. It's on the newsfeed ...

Then he someone snuck another one on fb. And I thought I was hooked on fb! lol
"woke to a song am i wrong to watch joy become real
doesnt matter what you think i cant ignore what i feel
willing to work for my spot success is 95% preparation
grew up many times my stature guess which oversized monkey is set to rule the nation
but this time when i climb the skyscraper im swatting you planes
... dont try and alter my path see for her i 'll set the planet to flames
you cant stop a mage when the magic is right
so if your into my fall then youre in for a fight
i write. an epic poem set with the minor details of her face
see im an observant beast and its that same face that i trace
a gentle hand held just right my natural half
you either been there or you wish you had so dont even laugh
too soon to know forever so i will just say now
i see the bloom of something real to cultivate take my words as my vow

peace
~mage the amethyst dragon dancing in the clouds with the jade griffin ...."

am I the Jade griffin? I like green, jade though? Not so much ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

So I finally met Half in person today. I was trying to put off the meeting until it was time for the movie (Safe House at the Showcase Cinemas in Randolph and we did the Luxe seating, my cousin and her fam joined us), that way if it was awkward we always have the movie as a buffer.

Instead I picked him up early and we went for a walk on the Riverside Bike Trail, almost went for a swim, ate at the gazebo (yum Saks!!!), and then drove to the movies. Surprisingly, not even a half hour after meeting we were finishing each other's sentences and reading the other's (expression, mind, thoughts).

I guess he felt the same way :) his post was:
"if i called her amazing i would be understating life good movie great food...oh so delectable company .

so glad to be in RI"

Side note, he looks to be the same height as me, what was he talking about?! Saying he is a half foot shorter ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

ummm ...

So he got a mani and a pedi. Not sure how I feel about that (figure in the height thing also). Glad he is secure in his masculinity though ...

And then he sends me an inbox:
"..but at the end of the day..this Feb. trip was about you. I am interested and i want to make it known as such...not just talking about meeting you and getting to know you but putting effort behind my words...plenty of guys can talk it...but i live my words ...every letter is as real as the suns warming rays.."
AWWWWW!

Facebook Fairy Tale

So I guess he's excited to come visit me! :)

"twistin in bliss ready to inhale her scent her style
stand grand the man that sure to make her smile
im a beast yes its true but im still soft as rose petals
thats no queue for you to jump i still carry that metal
both sides of the coin im a spectrum kid
... upon my birth let me tell you what my mama did
she asked God to hold me dear..she asked the world to beware
she died years back but before she did she told mage to take care
told me to find a smile in my heart and never let it go away
so in two days i begin a journey to make that feeling stay
unapologetic i guess some are gonna hate
but lets get this straight only one man holds this weight
so the path cleared is mine dont be mad you cant walk it
i've known the pain that could remain so i know a chance when i talk it
dont need convention i tried that route
and you dont want to know how i feel so dont ask me what im talkin bout

blend sin with soul my angel wings platinum coated
read the words and understand my morning thoughts just exploded

~mage...the amethyst dragon"

Facebook Fairy Tale

So I hope Half doesn't think he is just going to get laid when he visits.
"Unwritten Love Story (based on true dreams)

never been too far but im looking to take the trip
the waters of life are perfect temp right now come lets take a dip
if i ever knew forever i want to see it in your eyes
a new way to be our future wrapped up in our thighs ......

TBC
~mage"

I mean do ya'll see that last line???

Facebook Fairy Tale

So Half posted:
"As people turn to vday I take stock in where I am now and the changes I am making to be even better. In the past I viewed love as something I could write about..or something I could view from the outside..even something I could make others feel ...but never quite experience it first hand how I should be able to

Just watched the end of love and basketball {love my phone lol} and it was moving for the first time."

The "L" word ... already? ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

So Half posted
"‎4 days and a wake up and destiny's design shall reveal another part of the path...."

You know what, I agree.

Facebook Fairy Tale

So he found our song in French :)

Since we both want to travel abroad, we agreed to brush up on our French. A Whole New World

Facebook Fairy Tale

So Half sends me an inboxed message. "odd question. how tall are you."

My response "Of all the questions to ask that is an odd one, lol. 5'8" and a half. I did shrink, I was 5'9"

His reply "lol @ you shrank. just curious. just in case that it matters to you...i think you may be like 1/2 foot taller than me (just for the record it matters not to me)"

What is with all the short folks? I guess I can just suck it up and get over it. I guess sometimes we have to look beyond out typical selections in order to find the right person.

I hope I can still wear heels ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

On my fb newsfeed a posting by Half.

"took a running leap and .......

never heard her voice
but what she whispers in my ear.
damn.
... never touched her skin
but my fingers spiral around.
damn.
yet to wrap her tight
but i inhale and smell her lingering.
damn.
we haven't laid in the sun
but i remember speaking to her about the fantasies the clouds formed.
damn.

i knew her
know her
known her all along

i have seen her
sown her
now we are strong

i dig her
dug her
she is what i prayed for when i was young

i dreamed her
in those dreams went to her
reality called those dreams to a close
done

damn.

~mage"

This is about me ... wow (and uh-oh...)

Facebook Fairy Tale

He wrote a fab verse, I believe I am the subject ... :)

"tip my hat to tomorrow all respect for whats to come
no regretting what i've done my past has formed the future's son
now i'm numb to all the hate it's what make my success great
she was written in the stars now she's in the flesh needed to wait

... the sun and the moon share the same sky so i took a page from their book and look
what's to come was written in the stars that the sun and moon rule together
~m"

Facebook Fairy Tale

So apparently Half and I have a song.
A Whole New World by Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle

Not sure how that came about, but now I hear it constantly on The Blend, the radio, TV, everywhere ... I really don't even like the song! lol

Facebook Fairy Tale

So we had updated our fb profiles to say we are in a relationsip and I get a friend request from his Aunt. Oh buddy!

Yeah, he was making plans on us meeting at some point, but the reason our relationship status was updated was purely for fun on my part. Everyone has a fb boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. And just because they list it doesn't make it so.

I feel so bad because his fam and friends and clients (cringe) are all curious about what's going on. Guess I didn't think that one all the way through ...

Facebook Fairy Tale

So in a silly moment I posted this on Half's wall:
"One more week! Want to be my fb boyfriend? Lol"

He gave his consent, so it was fair game! I updated my relationship status and tagged him.

Hi, my name is Susan, and I am a facebook addict. It has been 10 minutes since my last silly update, lol